A few days
later…
“Murphy’s
Mortuary, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em.” Andy said, answering his cell phone.
“You’re
very funny." Kyle responded, sarcastically.
"What’s
up?” Andy asked.
I’ve decided to go see Jay. I talked
with Doctor Curtis and he’s off the critical list. I’m just not sure what to
say.” Kyle responded.
“Well, how about starting out with ‘I
love you’, and follow up with ‘I want to try to work things out’.”
“That’s the thing. I’m not sure I
want to. I mean, I still love him, but that’s just not enough. I don’t trust
him anymore, and that was a major part of our relationship.”
“What if he was forced into it
against his will? You know, raped at gun- or knife-point?”
“I hadn’t considered that. But then
again, I didn’t see any gun or knife when I walked in on them, nor did I find
one when I was moving his things out into the garage.”
“Think about it, Kyle. Jay’s a top. Why
would he willingly bottom for a perfect stranger but not you?”
“Hmmm, you’re right. I don’t think he
would, but that doesn’t change the fact that he did, and he wasn’t putting up a
fight. You know how strong he is, that plus with his Tae Kwon Do and his FBI
training, he should have been able to overpower his attacker.”
“I have to agree with you on that
point, unless there’s more to it than the obvious.” Andy admitted, reluctantly.
“What more
could there be?” Kyle asked, puzzled.
“I’m
afraid only Jay can answer that question.”
“You know, the more I think about it,
the less I want to see him or ever talk to him again.”
“I can understand that you feel that
way, Kyle, but what if I’m right? If he didn’t do it willingly, and you never
gave him the chance to prove himself you’d regret it for the rest of your life.
You owe it to the both of you to find out exactly what happened.”
“And if I
find out that he did do it willingly?”
“Then he’s
out of your life for good. But you need to find out for sure.”
“You’re right, as usual. I’ll go and
listen to what he has to say then I’ll let you guys know. Would you guys like
to come over for dinner later? I have a feeling I’ll need some company.”
“Sure.
We’d love to.”
“Is pizza
okay?”
“It’s fine
with us. What time?”
“I have to stop by the art gallery
and pick up a check. Another painting got sold today, and they want me to bring
over about ten more. How about seven o’clock?”
“Great!
Congratulations!”
“Thanks.”
“We’ll see you around seven. Talk to
you later, Bro.”
“Thanks
for listening and giving me the kick in the ass that I needed.”
“Not a
problem. Later.”
“Bye.”
Later that
afternoon…
“Excuse me, Nurse. Could you please
tell me what room Jayson Williams is in?” Kyle asked.
The Nurse consulted her chart for a
moment. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Williams is on the restricted visitation list. May
I have your name please?”
“Kyle
Matthews.”
“Matthews…Matthews…ah yes, here you
are. Kyle Matthews. May I see some identification please?”
Kyle took
out his wallet and handed her his driver’s license.
The Nurse examined the license carefully
then looked sharply at Kyle before handing the license back to him “Thank you Mr.
Matthews. He’s down the hall, next to the last room on the left.” She reached
over and clipped a special visitor’s badge to his shirt collar.
“Thank you, Nurse.” He walked down
the hall, checking the names on the door. He stood outside the door to Jay’s
room for what seemed like an eternity before knocking on the closed door,
showing his visitor’s badge to the guard stationed there.
His heart sank as a very weak “Come in”
answered his knock. He slowly opened the door and walked in, only to be stopped
dead in his tracks at the sight of his boyfriend, restrained, all bandaged and
bruised with all kinds of wires and tubes coming out of various openings in Jay’s
hospital pajamas. Tears built up in his eyes and threatened to overflow. Jay
looked up, saw Kyle standing there then looked away in shame.
“I brought
you your favorite plant.”
“Thanks.” Jay
replied quietly.
“How are
you feeling? Are you up to talking?”
“Taking about
what?”
“About what happened two weeks ago?”
Kyle said, placing the plant on the window sill before sitting on the edge of
the bed.
“What’s there to talk about? You
walked in on me getting fucked in the ass and threw me out without even giving
me the chance to explain, end of story.” Jay responded belligerently.
“Okay. But
at least tell me one thing.”
“What?”
“Why? Why’d you do it? Wasn’t I good
enough for you anymore? Am I too old, fat or ugly? Why, Jayson?” The tears
came.
It broke Jay’s heart to see Kyle
crying. What was worse was that, because of the restraints, he couldn’t hold
him nor could he reach up to brush away the tears.
“God no, Kyle, you’re the most
wonderful, sexy, gorgeous man I ever laid eyes on. I love you so much it
hurts.”
The tears were quickly replaced by
anger. “The why did you do it, Jayson Edward Williams? How long have you been
getting fucked by that guy? Was it a few days, a couple of weeks, SEVERAL MONTHS? HOW LONG, JAYSON? AND HOW
MANY OTHER GUYS WHERE THERE?” He shouted.
Jay shrank back from the blast of
anger hurled in his direction. He started to cry. “It was only that one time,
and I didn’t have any choice. I was forced to do it. There were no other guys.”
He said, sincerely.
“Like hell you didn’t have a choice!
There was no gun to your head or knife at your throat. You didn’t even put up a
struggle. You were just lying there with his dick in your ass.”
Jay then
told Kyle all about being seen kissing him, the email message and the phone
call.
“And you honestly expect me to
believe that crock of bullshit, Mr. Hotshot FBI Agent?”
“It’s the truth, Kyle.” Jay pleaded.
“I’ve never lied to you about anything. Shit, I can’t even keep a secret as
simple as a Christmas present from you.”
“Yeah, whatever, obviously I'm wasting
my time.” He got up and headed towards the door. “All of your stuff is in the
garage whenever you want to come and pick it up.” He stormed out, leaving Jay
in tears.
He stormed to the elevator and
punched the button angrily. I’ve heard
some wild stories in my day, but that one takes the cake. The thought ran
through his mind. But yet in the five
years we’ve been together, not once did he lie to me. Not even a white lie. But
yet again, even if he was telling the truth about the email and the phone call,
it’s highly unlikely that an FBI field agent would submit to such coercion.
That evening over pizza he told Tommy
and Andy what Jay had said. “I want to believe him. I really do, but it’s so
far-fetched.”
“Is it really that far-fetched? Think
about it, Kyle. Jay worships the ground you walk on, and he’d do anything, even
die, to protect you. You know that.” Andy said softly.
“Yeah, I
know. I just wish I could believe him.”
“He’s never lied to you. He can’t
even keep a secret from you. Why do you think he always waits until Christmas
Eve or the day of your birthday to pick out your presents?” Tommy said as he
cleared the table in preparation to play Killer Bunnies.
“True, but
what kind of FBI agent would submit to that kind of coercion?”
“The closeted kind who is scared
about the safety of his secret gay lover and would do anything to protect him.
I wish there was something I could to do help.”
“You’re
doing it, believe me.
After about an hour, Kyle said “I’m
sorry guys. I just can’t seem to concentrate on the game.”
“That’s okay, bro. We’ll help you
finish cleaning up then call it a night. Get some rest and try not to think
about it too much. You’ll drive yourself nuts.”
A few minutes later, Kyle was alone.
Not finding anything of interest to watch on TV, he gave up and went to bed.
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