Jayson sat on the park bench, his
head in his hands, hot tears burning his cheeks. “Oh, God, what have I done?”
His heart broke. “If only I hadn’t taken that fucking job, then I never would
have gotten myself into this mess.” He remembered the day he took the job with
the FBI. It was a risk, he knew. If his sexuality had been known, his security
clearance would never have been granted and he wouldn’t have the job he loved
more than anything in the world. Or used to until Kyle entered his life. His
mind wandered back. Back eight years to when he was fresh out of the FBI Academy
working on his first case, the disappearance of a high-profile federal lawyer
and his wife, also a high-profile federal lawyer.
Accompanying the senior field agent
to interview the family members of the missing couple, he couldn’t take his
eyes of the couple’s son. He was absolutely the hottest guy he had ever seen in
his life. He seemed so lost, so vulnerable, so scared that he wanted to take
him into his arms and comfort him, but he suspected any moves on his part would
be rebuffed. Looking around the living room, there were numerous photos of him
with various women. Score one for their
side he thought, somewhat disappointed. Wandering through the house looking
for clues as to who might have kidnapped the parents and how, he came across
the son’s bedroom. Even though he knew the guy was straight, he couldn’t resist
peeking in. The first thing that caught his eye was a shelf full of books. He
glanced at the titles. ‘The Front Runner[1]’…’Daytime Drama[2]’…’Last Summer[3]’ and one that really surprised him, ‘The
Joy of Gay Sex[4].’ Puzzled, he continued to look
around the room and found a small gay pride rainbow flag on the desk. His heart
soared. Obviously the son was gay, and about his age. So how do I proceed? He wondered.
“Looking for something in
particular?” A soft, melodic voice came from behind him, startling him.
“I’m sorry. I was looking for the
bathroom and walking by the door I noticed the bookshelf.” He said. “You have a
very nice collection. I’ve always wanted to read ‘Last Summer’. I’ve heard a
lot about it.”
“It’s my favorite. Would you like to
borrow it?” And screw my brains out while
you’re at it. Kyle thought.
What I’d really like is to fuck your brains out. He said to himself. Aloud he said
“Yes, I would, if that’s okay with you.”
Kyle got the book and gave it to Jay.
“Sure. Here you go.” Giving him an appraising look, eyes lingering momentarily
on his crotch, he sat back on the bed in a very provocative position, his
posture and facial expression challenging Jay to make a move on him. “Any idea
what might have happened to my parents?”
“Not at the moment.” He replied,
sitting on the edge of the bed, close, but not too close, and setting the book
on the desk. Put the brakes on, Jay. He admonished
himself. He had to be careful. This was a federal investigation, and the
last thing he needed was to get personally - and romantically - involved with a
possible suspect. “But I assure you we’ll do everything we can.” He patted Kyle
on the ankle before standing up. “If you don’t mind, I’ll stop by later and
pick up the book.”
“Sure.”
“Now if
you would be so kind as to point me in the direction of the bathroom…”
“It’s
third door on the right.”
“Thanks.” Jay beat a hasty retreat,
hoping that Kyle wouldn’t notice his raging hard-on. Kyle, on the other hand,
had noticed it, and was hoping the hot young FBI Agent would notice his
arousal, but apparently he hadn't. Kyle, you
moron! He's an FBI Agent investigating the disappearance of your parents, and
most likely you're a possible suspect. Interested or not, he can't get involved
with you until after the investigation. Go take a cold shower or beat off or
something. Better, yet, he has to come back this way so give him a glimpse of
what could be his if he wants it. He rolled over onto his stomach and
spread his legs slightly apart, giving anyone who passed by his room a good
view of his butt.
Passing back by the bedroom door, Jay
peeked in and saw Kyle lying on his stomach, legs spread as if challenging him
to make a move. He looked him over carefully, eyes lingering on his butt. He
never saw such tight jeans on a man before. Cursing his growing erection, it
took all of his control to keep from lying down on top of him, from caressing
him, from making love to him, which is obviously what they both wanted. He
wanted him so badly he couldn’t stand it, but he couldn’t make a move for fear
of compromising the investigation. However, he could give him his business
card. That was innocent enough, perhaps even expected. Maybe after the
investigation was over, the son would call him. The possibility that Kyle could
have had anything to do with his parents’ disappearance never even entered his
mind. He knocked on the door frame.
Kyle raised himself to his hands and
knees, imitating a stretch, butt high in the air. He slowly lay back down,
turned over and sat up, not even trying to hide his erection. There was no
point. The gorgeous FBI Agent was most definitely gay. “I must have fallen
asleep.”
“I’m sorry to wake you. We’ve
finished up here.” Jay entered his room, holding his business card in his
outstretched hand. “Here’s my card. If you can think of anything, anything at
all, no matter how trivial or unimportant it might seem, please call me.”
Kyle took the business card. An
electric shock passed between them as their fingers briefly touched. They
locked eyes with each other. “I will. Please call me if you find out anything.”
Please call me, period.
“I will let you know as soon as we
have any information.” Believe me I most
definitely will call you as soon as this investigation is over.” But since
Kyle left for college the following month in another state, the call was never
made. Bringing his thoughts back to present time, he pondered his situation.
What made things worse was that his immediate supervisor was homophobic to the
point of violence. It made his life a living hell. He couldn’t go anywhere with
Kyle without looking over his shoulder, let alone be seen in public holding
hands, hugging or kissing the man he loved more than life itself. Kyle, who was
totally out and didn’t care who knew he was gay, was very understanding of his
situation and did his best to help Jay maintain his secret other life. It
wasn’t difficult as Kyle was the type that you would never suspect would be
gay. He didn’t flame, nor wear outrageous clothing or gay-themed t-shirts, and
was very athletic. He didn't fit any of the stereotypes typically associated
with homosexual men. Jay was careful not to give anyone any reason to suspect
that he was gay, so very careful. Then one day he slipped.
His truck was in the shop having new
brakes installed, so Kyle had given him a ride to work. After looking around to
make sure nobody saw them, he gave Kyle a goodbye kiss, the kiss lingering
longer than it should have. One of his co-workers pulled up just as he broke
the kiss. They separated quickly, but not quickly enough to avoid being seen.
He believed -hoped- that they weren’t seen. He was to find out a few weeks
later how wrong he was. One day at home while checking his personal email, he
received a message that was destined to change his life. The anonymous message
stated simply:
I know about you and your secret lover-boy. If you don’t want your secret
revealed to the entire FBI organization, call the following number at one pm on
Friday, May twenty-ninth: 555-1540.
Failure to call this number and follow the instructions will result in an FBI
investigation into you and your boyfriend-boy.
His eyes bulged from their sockets as
he saw pictures of the two of them kissing, holding hands, and making love on
the beach. His throat closed. How did
they find out about me and Kyle? That thought occupied his mind for the rest
of the week. Finally the appointed time arrived. He dialed the number as
instructed. A man’s voice answered.
“Ah Jayson,
you’re right on time. I like that. I like you. I bet you’re incredible in bed.”
“Like you’ll
ever find out.”
“Oh trust
me. I fully intend to, and soon.”
“Fuck
you!”
“No, I’m
the one who will be fucking you, unless you want your boyfriend to disappear.
It would be very easy to arrange his disappearance. Never to be seen or heard
from again. His remains would never be found.”
“You
wouldn’t.”
“Ah, but I
would, with one simple phone call.”
Jay sighed, helplessly. Having been
in the FBI for almost nine years, he knew how easy it would be to make that
threat a reality. This he would never allow to happen.
“What do
you want?”
“What I
want is to fuck you, pure and simple. I want to shove my dick so far up your
ass that it will come out your mouth.”
“When and
where?”
“I’ll be
at your place two hours from now.”
“There’s one condition. After you
finish fucking me, you’ll leave us alone.”
“Well,
now that depends on you. If you are as good in bed as I think you are, I may
decide I want to fuck you whenever I’m horny, which is most of the time.”
“You
fucking bastard!”
A lewd
chuckle was heard. “I’ll see you in two hours.”
Two-and-a-half hours later, Kyle
walked in on them. Jay felt the strange man pulled off of him. He laid there
crying for a few moments, relieved that the sex was over. He got up and rushed
over to Kyle, afraid for him, wanting to explain, but Kyle punched him in the stomach,
knocking him to the floor. What was worse was that Kyle threw him out without
giving him a chance to explain. What was he going to do now? Kyle was his
entire world, his whole life. He refused to answer or return any of his calls,
a sure indication that it was over between them. Five years down the drain. Try
as he might, he couldn’t blame him. Kyle had been cheated on before, and Jay
swore he would never cheat on him. He loved him too much. But he wasn’t given a
choice. Letting the stranger fuck him was the only way to protect him, since he
didn’t even know who the guy was. He had the number traced, but it led, not
surprisingly, to a payphone. The email message was also a dead end, leading
back to an internet café account. What was he to do? He couldn’t bear the
thought of living without him. He got up and started walking. Suddenly several
men and a woman jumped out of the bushes and surrounded him.
“We meet at long last” the woman
snarled. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this, Mr. Undercover FBI Agent. You
just couldn’t leave things alone, could you? You had to stick your nose where
it didn’t belong. Because of you, my father and brother are in prison for the
rest of their lives.”
“What are you talking about?” he
asked, a note of fear creeping into his voice.
“I’m talking about the investigation
in to the deaths of those two lawyers…Michaels….Morehouse…something along those
lines.”
“Matthews?”
“That’s them. They led the
investigation into my family’s organization and prosecuted my father and brother.
They would never have been convicted if it hadn’t been for you. You destroyed
my family. Now I’ve destroyed yours. I’m the one who followed you and your
boyfriend and took all of those pictures, then passed them onto my cousin, who
took more than a slight interest in you.” Her smile was full of satisfied
malice, as evil as Jay had ever seen on even the most hardened of criminals.
“But if you think I’m going to simply rob you of the love of your life, you’re
sadly mistaken. I’m going to rob you of everything, including your life.” She
nodded to her henchmen. Jay was suddenly restrained by several men as he was
stabbed over and over again.
“I will love you forever, Kyle.” Jay
said as he lost consciousness.
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